Dieting: The Acceptable Idol

 I don't remember when I knew I wanted to lose weight. But I do remember the ridiculous apple diet I went on at the start of year eight. It involved cutting an apple in half, eating half for recess and saving half for lunch. No wonder I ate the entire kitchen every afternoon when I got home.

I also remember the time I tried the Atkins diet during our trip to Ireland in 2003. I don't remember much from our bus tour of Dublin except bacon, soup and falling asleep for most of the trip because I just had no energy.

Then came was the carrot diet I went on in year ten (partially for health reasons, partially because I wanted to test the theory that eating a carrot every day for five years turned you orange. I lasted two weeks.)

There was the time I inherited a series of Weight Watchers books and proceeded to inform anyone who would listen to me that sausages were worth eight points each, and a packet of Migoreng was more than half your daily allowance of points. They all banned me from using the word points on our camping trip.

In hindsight, some of these stories make me giggle. Some make me cringe (I can't believe I was that ridiculous), and others make me sigh because I realise how annoying I must have been. But here's the thing: nobody taught me I needed to lose weight, or worry about those numbers on the scale. I just knew and I just did.

I find myself, even more so now than ever before, surrounded by this diet culture where losing weight, being healthy and active are key messages. New gyms keep opening and my news feed is full of people "checking in" at the start of their workout. Coles now has a home-brand diet range of products. Apps like MyFitnessPal have over one million monthly users.

As a Christian trying to scrutinize and evaluate the world through the lens of the cross, I find myself struggling to find balance and truth in this crazy health/diet/body-obsessed culture. There is so much I want to write and explore when it comes to Jesus vs diets, and hopefully this blog will give me space to do that.

But today I wanted to think about the influence the world's wisdom has on us when it comes to the reasons why we might want to get healthy. Because being healthy in and of itself is neither good nor bad. It's so often the motivation behind our actions that taints what we are doing.

I can only evaluate and speak for myself here.

Sometimes I am motivated to be healthy by a desire to keep my body well and serve others. Taking care of my body by eating healthy foods and exercising regularly is a good thing to do, according to most doctors. It gives me energy. It allows me to serve others around me and go the distance in ministry. It makes my body feel good and my digestive system regular. It's not a failsafe way to never get sick, but being healthy is meant to reduce the risk of a lot of illnesses. I enjoy eating fruits and vegetables and other healthy foods. It's nice knowing that you're looking after your body, and encouraging others to look after theirs as well. It's good to keep yourself in shape so that you can be available to serve others. It's good to prevent what illnesses you can by being healthy so that you can be well enough to care for others. Exercise makes you feel good and is great for combating stress. Last year I did the Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation and loved it because I learned so much about cooking, eating healthy and exercise. There are so many good motivations and great reasons to be healthy. 

Other times, I am motivated by less honorable desires.

There are days when I look in the mirror, or step on the scales, and decide that "I'm going to do better" because I don't like what I see. My motivation is self focused - I want to weigh less, look younger and thinner and stronger, I want to make these changes to my body and manipulate it for my own benefit. And herein lies the problem: the world will always say "you are not enough." And I will never be enough, according to the world. I will never be thin enough, I will never be young enough, I will never be healthy enough, and the world says that my worth depends on this. The world is quick to place our worth as people on unattainable goals.

If my motivation for being healthy is tied in with my worth and how I value myself as a person, this does three very destructive things. Firstly, it causes me to tie the value of others with these superficial markers. People are amazing individuals, each with their own stories, experiences and personalities. It is grossly unfair to boil them down to a number on a scale, or a size on a clothing rack. It is a lie, an inaccurate representation of who they are, and it's a result of the way the world teaches us to think.

Secondly, it sets me up for failure. These goals are goals that nobody can attain. Who gets to say what is thin enough anyway? What is the perfect number on the scales? And besides, even if two people weigh the same, body shapes are all different - they are going to look different and then we will only be dissatisfied with something else! We will always fail trying to reach these goals, because you can never be thin enough, strong enough, healthy enough for the world. There will always be someone better out there. And even if we are just doing this for ourselves, we will always fail ourselves eventually.

Most dangerously though, it makes me lose sight of the cross. My attention is not on Jesus anymore, instead it is on myself. I have instead become completely self focused. I am the god that I worship and make sacrifices to, not Jesus, because my goal is to bring myself glory.

So there you have it. This is the fine line that I balance most days. I know who the cross makes me: I am a child of God, saved by the blood of Jesus. The very fact that God chose to save me gives me worth as a person. The fact that I was created by God and given life gives me worth as a person.

However, the world will always try and tie my worth into other things. The world will always tell me otherwise.

So as I look in the mirror, step on the scales, or look back on a weekend of wicked over-eating, and make the decision to be healthy, I need to keep asking myself the big question: why?

The absurdity of self-imposed censorship

A lot of stuff is going on this week, in our country and in our world. I suppose that’s always the case but at this point in time I feel the weight of it and am somewhat apologetic for posting a blog like this. I almost feel as though whatever I want to write next should be left unsaid, just in respect of the things that matter. That being said, I’ve decided to continue anyway because a light needs to shine in all kinds of darkness.

Sydney Film Festival, yo. I get pretty excited every time it comes around, but I have to admit my taste is pretty lowbrow. There are films from all around the world exploring a myriad of ideas in strange and interesting contexts but I chose to buy tickets to Happy Christmas starring Anna Kendrick and Lena Dunham (i.e. the chick flick of the line-up). Perhaps I redeemed myself by also purchasing tickets to Frank, wherein Michael Fassbender plays an eccentric musician in a giant papier mache head, but then again no, on account of, everyone is going to watch that one. Suffice to say SFF for me is basically just a chance to catch advance screenings of indie films I’d be watching in 6 months anyway. So much for my cultural capital.

There is one other film I’ve kept coming back to but have still not yet bought tickets for. Palo Alto is the feature film debut of yet another one of the Coppola clan: 27 year old Gia Coppola, granddaughter of Francis Ford and niece to Sofia (so what other career choice did she have, really?).

The film is described as an exploration of teenage life in a small American town and the frustrations and inevitable rebellion that comes when you’re an idle teenager just waiting for something to happen. It is also based on a collection of short stories written by James Franco who appears in the film (at Coppola’s request) to portray a high school soccer coach who eventually seduces one of his players, the very shy and shamefully virginal April (played by Emma Roberts).

The drawcard here for me is Coppola. She seems to be following in her aunt’s footsteps, shooting in a similarly slow but dreamy style that I think will explore something true about the angst of youth. And the reviews have been solid. But I find myself hesitating to ‘add to cart’ because these days I seem to be thinking (or overthinking) harder about what I choose to watch.

Self-imposed censorship is a bizarre concept. In some ways it’s less odd – i.e. choosing not to watch a horror film for fear of sleep deprivation over the next week seems reasonable, but filtering what you choose to view, listen to or read for the sake of a wholesome mind is something else entirely.

See I just don’t know if watching Franco play sexual predator to Roberts’ April is all that helpful for me; something about the promise of that illicit affair gave me pause and I’ve been trying to work out why. Because I don’t just put a blanket ban on any film involving sex. Sex has a legitimate place in film, how can it not when it is so much a part of our lives? That doesn't mean I happily walk into any film that portrays it however, and I tend to stay away when I know it will be used gratuitously.

The Wolf of Wall Street was initially a no-brainer for myself and my husband to go and see. Scorcese and Dicaprio are a dream team, there was really no question. But the more reviews I read and heard I knew that for me personally a line needed to be drawn. There are some things that you just can’t unsee.

I’m sure this is all sounding very tired and predictable. Christian has problem with sex in film. Go figure.

But that’s not exactly true. Going through this thought process is so much more than ‘that film has sex in it, sex is bad, must avoid’. It’s actually about thoughtful consideration of what goes into my head because despite popular opinion, it will inform what comes out. We do not go unchanged by what we choose to meditate upon and I find it incredibly foolish when people suggest otherwise.

Despite my insistence I have to admit that I find myself struggling because by choosing to filter what I take in, I am trying to achieve something a little like innocence and innocence in this world is intolerable. Attempting to cultivate a kind of innocence in a world dominated by sex, violence and all around vulgarity makes me seem (and even sometimes feel, despite my best efforts) naïve and ignorant because these are in fact key forces that make up the reality of life. I know this is true. I love film for the very fact that it captures our stories: it reflects back to us who we are, what we value, what we search for and all of our flaws. But I am responsible for how I respond to this wealth of material. It shouldn't be so unthinkable that we all stop to consider what is helpful or unhelpful for ourselves. I would even posit it as a kind of freedom, perhaps one that could even be more liberating than the pursuit of the most controversial films and ideas that people seem to crave. It's a novel idea, one I expect many to ignore but I challenge you to consider the possible merits of it.

As for Palo Alto? To be honest I'm still undecided.

Introductions: Tara

Christine and Alie promised me two things: I could write whatever I wanted, and it didn't have to be fabulous. It just had to be about my life, Jesus, and how these two are so tightly woven together they are actually one.

So, what is it exactly that I want to write about?

If there is one common thread in all the rambling thoughts I want to process and post, it is this: JESUS IS RELEVANT.  That is the sweet sweet sound of the Christian message. God is not a far away being, he is not sitting on a cloud merely plucking the hairs from his toes while he waits for us to screw up our world and destroy ourselves. God is intricately involved in each one of our lives. His Word, the Bible, has a message of salvation for everyone to hear. Jesus came down from heaven to die for us and restore our relationship with God. A person doesn't hear the message of Jesus and leave unchanged.

I first discovered Jesus was relevant in year 8. I grew up Catholic, understanding that God existed and that he was a pretty important guy, but not much else. I knew that Jesus had died on a cross, but had no clue what that had to do with me. Then, I learned what sin was. Contrary to my previous thoughts, it was not saying no to people when they ask for help (or when they told you to clean your room). It was actually saying no to God and choosing to live your own way, and that deserves punishment.

Suddenly I realised THAT'S what Jesus had died for - my sins! That's how he was relevant to me. For the first time in my life, I was certain I could go to heaven. No more wondering if I had been a good enough person to impress God. It was all to do with Jesus' death.

I made the decision to follow Jesus over ten years ago now. Why am I still continuing to follow him? Because it doesn't matter whether ten or ten hundred years pass, these are truths that don't change with time. We are sinful people, and need saving. Jesus is that saviour. He is relevant always.

But what does it mean for the gospel to impact my life, when these days it consists of knitting, podcasts, train trips, cooking, calorie counting, Instagram, Batman pajamas and old television shows? I know God's word should be shaping my opinions on big issues, encouraging me to be more thoughtful and causing me to take less of a #yolo #partyintheusa approach to life, but how?

It's intimidating to post this after two excellent intros from Alie and Chris. I probably won't be blogging much on feminism but I do like talking about sex. I also like thinking about money, health, fitness and diet culture, consumerism and what we watch on TV, so I'll hopefully start to work out how Jesus impacts these things and write about that.

Introductions: Alie

Hellooo!

I have to yell because I live in Wellington. I’m the ‘blogger emeritus’ of the three. Technically I make our blog international.

A bit about me: I was a ‘Christian’ before I was a Christian. I have the surprisingly non-unique experience of realising who Jesus was half-way through Bible College. I was born into a faithful home and when I was three, my parents shipped us off to Ethiopia with the view of being missionary lifers. It didn’t quite work out that way. Three years and two bouts of malaria later, we came home skinnier, disappointed, and amazed that clean water came out of taps.

Growing up I assumed I was a Christian. Why wouldn’t I be? I believed in God right? And that Jesus guy. I didn’t get what he did but I was pretty sure he was real.

After high school I had a terrible idea. Why not join the army? I’ll travel, get super toned and sexy, shoot guns out of helicopters. That didn’t happen. Instead I shaved my head, ate my ever increasing weight in potatoes - not conducive to toned sexiness, and there were no helicopters in sight. At least none with me in them. Instead I got caught up in the drinking culture that is so prevalent in the army, and enjoyed being the only girl for every twenty guys.

After a series of fortunate events God led me to Moore College - a Bible College in Sydney. I needed a diploma to get into Uni, and this seemed like the most practical way. It was something of a shock to the system. The first thing I noticed was how well people loved each other. I wanted their peace and contentment. I didn’t understand why I didn’t have it. I was a Christian too, right? All the while I was wondering why everyone talked about Jesus so much. Wasn’t being a Christian just believing in God?

I was sitting in a lecture when the penny dropped. Out of the blue I understood that Jesus’ death on the cross wasn’t something that happened on the sidelines of history. His death paid the price for our sins. That’s how I am able to be in a relationship with God, because his death tore the veil between us and him. There was a lot of face palming over how I had missed that detail all these years.

Becoming a Christian didn’t instantly make my life easy. There was a long process of casting off guilt and unforgiveness, but I have the knowledge that shame has no place in my life now and it is mind blowing how much peace that brings.

As I matured as a Christian, God gave me an anguish for certain things, and these anguishes formed my passions. First was slavery. It kills me that 30 million people are in slavery, and I am praying for the day we see the captives go free. The second is women’s rights. I have problems with the word ‘feminist’ (although I use it for linguistic purposes) as it immediately aligns me with views I do not, would not ever hold. But break feminism down into isolated problems and I’m there with my sign post. I get all ragey when I talk about the slut shaming, victim blaming, porn culture, rape culture and institutionalised discrimination of women.

Anyway, deep breaths.

In the beginning, I struggled to find God in feminism and it took a while to see that he’s right there, marching beside us, with a sign post of his own.

Part of becoming a Christian was learning to use my ‘Jesus Filter’. This is so much more complicated than the ‘What Would Jesus Do’ process. Am I allowed to drink? (a little) Can I read Harry Potter? (as if you wouldn’t) Can I watch Game of Thrones? (ummm). Is God a feminist? (hells yeah). That’s what I’m going to write about on this blog. I don’t know all the answers, but God puts treasure in jars of clay. He loves women and their rights, and I want to figure out how he has something to do with everything.

Peace

Introductions: Christine

Hey Alie. 

Hey. 

Have you read any Christian blogs by younger women that deal with pop culture, women’s issues, stuff you’re generally interested in?

No... Want to start one? 

Ok.


One of the reasons why I find the gospel so compelling (i.e the life and ministry of Jesus Christ, gospel literally means 'good news'), is that once you know and understand it, it provides a framework for the whole of life. God’s word is living and active, powerful and relevant. Even now. Especially now.

But what does it mean to navigate this world as a young Christian woman? How do I understand sexuality and relationships in a world where Tinder has replaced courtship? How do I engage with the ‘my body, my choice’ catch cries of my generation? Why should I strive for a quiet and gentle spirit when two thirds of the people I follow on Instagram are glamorous fashion bloggers and models who are admired for their eyebrow shape? Does my faith have any bearing on what I watch, read or listen to? Why look to Jesus when the world is infinitely more exciting?

We are three women who love Jesus but live in the world. We want to engage with our culture, and evaluate it. We want to have a conversation and we want to be open and honest. This blog is not designed to encourage you, but we will be glad if it does. This blog is not designed to convert you, but we encourage you to ask questions.


About me:
My name is Christine, I’m one of three contributors to this blog. I’m 24 years of age and finally decided to call Jesus my saviour while I was at university after a lifetime of Sundays at church. I’m married to Thom and we live in the heart of Fairfield where I grew up. I’m into film, literature, women’s and gender issues, social justice, politics (somewhat) and dare I say – fashion. I recently realised that I am a verbal processor and I hassle most people I know for their opinions on all of these things in order to understand them better. Hopefully this blog serves as a better outlet for me from now on. I blog infrequently at: christinemead.wordpress.com.